My place on the www

Today when I didn't fit into some more clothes from second trimester, I thought to myself that this seems uncomfortable and I probably have gained weight at more places than I should have. I was disappointed but I will get over it. The now-tight clothes are helping me accept my new dimensions and adjust accordingly. They remind me that things are different now. It made me think that I have been pretty good at accepting the other limitations, like my walking distance has slowly decreased over the past months, I can't sit up straight for a long time, I can't stay hungry or thirsty even for a few hours, midnight snacks are okay even if my non-prego self is scolding me, my ability to hold my bladder is not more than a few seconds, I can not clean the whole apartment in one day, in fact I can't even do two tasks (like cleaning the bathroom and cooking dinner) in the same day. But the thing is, I don't forgive myself when it comes to study. I'm still trying to do a

It's the best feeling in the world to feel a little human being squirming and kicking inside your tummy. It is definitely the closest two humans can get and thus the mother-child bond needs no further explanation. I am in absolute awe. In fact I even feel betrayed, about no one ever telling me in the past 26 years of my life that there is something in this world as wonderful as being pregnant and expecting your offspring. Why don't people talk about it in Pakistan? Or is it just that I was not fortunate enough to have this kind of company? Why is it a bad thing to talk about pregnancy, and the only acceptable part seems to be the accounts of morning sickness, back pain, horrible experiences of childbirth, the woes of cesarean section, the exponential weight gain and tummy pouches you get with each additional child you make, and the worst your life is the more kids you have. All I understand about these conversations between new moms is each one's desire to prove that her

This video speaks for me. It might not be valid for other nations, but it definitely is for Pakistan, where increasing number of people believe or are forced to believe that it's not cool to speak in Urdu or the regional languages. English is helping us get into the mainstream for sure, but I feel miserable when I see grandparents feeling bad about being less educated than their children and grand children, or mothers sweating to learn few words of the language to match up with their kids' standards, while language clearly might not be their strongest point. It's not an easy transition we are seeing, like between Urdu and Punjabi and Arabic, it's learning to read from left to right, making a fool out of yourself in front of strangers, feeling bad about yourself even though you're a wonderful person.