Limitations and adjustments
Today when I didn't fit into some more clothes from second trimester, I thought to myself that this seems uncomfortable and I probably have gained weight at more places than I should have. I was disappointed but I will get over it. The now-tight clothes are helping me accept my new dimensions and adjust accordingly. They remind me that things are different now.
It made me think that I have been pretty good at accepting the other limitations, like my walking distance has slowly decreased over the past months, I can't sit up straight for a long time, I can't stay hungry or thirsty even for a few hours, midnight snacks are okay even if my non-prego self is scolding me, my ability to hold my bladder is not more than a few seconds, I can not clean the whole apartment in one day, in fact I can't even do two tasks (like cleaning the bathroom and cooking dinner) in the same day.
But the thing is, I don't forgive myself when it comes to study. I'm still trying to do as much as I would have wanted had I not been prego. My studying abilities are limited now just like my clothes but it's comparatively much harder to get used to it or get over it. I don't blame myself for the tight clothes but I do blame myself for the increased sleepiness, lesser concentration span, and simply the inability to read as hard as I want to.
It's sad. I should learn to be better at forgiving myself. I shouldn't be this hard on myself, for my own sake, and for the sake of the time that's awaiting as a mother and all.
It made me think that I have been pretty good at accepting the other limitations, like my walking distance has slowly decreased over the past months, I can't sit up straight for a long time, I can't stay hungry or thirsty even for a few hours, midnight snacks are okay even if my non-prego self is scolding me, my ability to hold my bladder is not more than a few seconds, I can not clean the whole apartment in one day, in fact I can't even do two tasks (like cleaning the bathroom and cooking dinner) in the same day.
But the thing is, I don't forgive myself when it comes to study. I'm still trying to do as much as I would have wanted had I not been prego. My studying abilities are limited now just like my clothes but it's comparatively much harder to get used to it or get over it. I don't blame myself for the tight clothes but I do blame myself for the increased sleepiness, lesser concentration span, and simply the inability to read as hard as I want to.
It's sad. I should learn to be better at forgiving myself. I shouldn't be this hard on myself, for my own sake, and for the sake of the time that's awaiting as a mother and all.
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